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Home » Health

How To Conceal A Black Eye

Submitted by on September 28, 2008 – 11:34 amNo Comment

image credit: Homeplate31

Pretty much no matter what your job is, if you have a black eye its gonna affect your day to day life. Maybe you got it from playing a sport, or maybe you caught a bow at that concert, or maybe you just said something wrong to a person with a short fuse. No matter what happened you need to do two things ASAP, first you need to come up with a story that makes you look like less of an ass then the truth, and second you need to get rid of that ugly bruise everyone is gonna be looking at and talking about. So how can you do this?

  • Well first things first; you need to slow down the swelling, which means you need to put some ice on that eye of yours. Now I know everyone has seen or heard about putting a slab of meat over your eye but come on your not a viking so don’t act like one, some ice in a towel will do fine. Leave the ice pad on your face for 15minutes, then take it off for 15, repeat this for a day or two or until you see a significant improvement.
  • After you have got the ice on your face your going to want to take some medication, the best relief will come from taking a migraine or headache pill, because they are made with acetaminophen and caffeine which will make your blood vessels constrict and stop the spreading of the bruise, make sure you find the right product that contains those two ingredients so you can keep the damage to a minimum.
  • The third step in the process is going to happen after 48 hours from when you “walked into the door” or whatever lame excuse you came up with happened. You are going to switch the ice bag for a heated bag, and place this over the black eye which should hopefully now be a lot less swollen and not quite the shiner you started out with. The best products are microwaveable bean bags, but you can get away with using hot water on a face cloth. The heat from the pad will get blood flowing back towards the eye and help with getting some more color back to your face, again use 15 minutes on followed with 15 minutes off.
  • The final step to get rid of the black eye may end up being the hardest, you need to sleep on your back without rolling onto the bruised eye socket. If you put added pressure onto the eye its going to get swollen again and may end up bruising even worse during the night. After you wake up in the morning try giving the damaged tissue a light massage for about 30 seconds, just enough to get some blood moving around in the soft tissue.

So hopefully now your eye starting to look like an old stupid story that you will be telling friends for years to come, and if all goes well this should be happening within 4-5 days. One last thing you need to know about black eyes, and that is if your stressing about it and can’t stop obsessing about how ugly it looks and that its never going to go away then its going to last a lot longer. Work on some breathing techniques, have a nice cup of soothing coffee, heck have a warm bath, just don’t stress over it and you can get through this rough patch just in time to hear some new gossip about Cindy in accounting.

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