Why Nice Guys Finish Last At Bars
Oh nice guys finish last, when you run out of gas,
Don’t pat yourself on the back, you might break your spine
When applied to dating and relationships there can be some truth to this statement. Here’s why…
Lets first talk about the jerks who get much more women than the nice guys.
- Women are attracted to jerks because they are not always focused on her.
What happens is that the woman will make it a challenge to change him, tame the man, make him settle down, stop hanging out with his buddies, sell his motorcycle, become a Volvo driving Soccer Dad, etc… The man slowly looses his strength, independence and freedom.
You probably herd a woman, or many women complaining about why there are no real men anymore. Its mostly because they turned men into women. Hmm…I wonder why so many marriages are failing.
A woman does not want to be the adventure…she wants to be taken on an adventure. She wants to be apart of something else… and have a Man who has a purpose that isn’t her.
The 3 stages that guys go though in understanding woman are:
- The Nice Guy – He buys her whatever she wants, does anything for her, trys to be funny and charming but in the end he is needy, suffocating, and supplicating. He gets few women because he’s the nice guy.
- The Guy – He’s realized that supplicating doesn’t work in today’s dating world so he backs off. He gets more women then the nice guy.
- The Man – He buys her whatever HE wants. He doesn’t care about supplication because he isn’t needy. He knows his purpose and doesn’t hide his intentions. He gets tons of women.
The third stage is a Man who can be all those things that Women find attractive. He isn’t a jerk and he never makes empty promises about the future but he is untamable. This guy has both elements of the nice guy and the jerk.
Here’s a bar scenario showing the difference between the guys in stage 1 and the guys in stage 3:
- Guy 1 – Guy buys a girl a drink and hopes she likes him. He trys to impress her but she smells his needyness. She kindly drinks the drink he bought for her and says good bye.
- Guy 3 – Guy buys a girl a drink and doesn’t care if she likes him or not. He’s having fun with or without her and his only motive to buying her a drink is to figure out if he likes her. She will usually drink it and hope that he includes her in his fun night on the town.
The moral of the story is to never do something and hope she will like you more if you do it. Ask yourself do you like her and remember, Don’t be a buyer, be a seller.